1996 Quite a Year for Domestic Violent Movies… and a Domestic Violent Life

I mentally prepared, and I watched Fear on Netflix last night. I won't rehash the similarities/memories I get from that movie - please read those here if you haven't already. I hadn't watched that movie in the 8 years since I last wrote about it. Maja and I had toyed with the idea of trying…

Adverse Childhood Event or Adult Trauma?

Hmmm, went back this morning and reviewed the post I put up last night. I ended it quite abruptly. I suppose that's what I get for rambling on the internet in the middle of the night while also binging The Resident on Netflix. I'm sure you'll be in for a treat when I eventually put…

Get Back To Grounding, Emma

I've been doing training days this week... and today ended with a Domestic Violence training presentation for RNs. Specifically recognizing red flags and screening patients as well as next steps if we were to identify a domestic violence concern or high risk of danger situation... As the presentation went on, I felt the familiar hollow…

Audio Memories

I was minding my own business. Driving along, beebopping along to upbeat music in my car on the way to work after dropping the kids off at school. A little singing. A little behind the wheel dancing, you know... Footloose came on, so naturally, my volume and the energy of my dance like movements increased.…

One of Them PTSD Dreams

It's 2 AM Tuesday morning as I write this... Woken up by my husband's late night efforts to rid himself of heartburn, but it had been a restless sleep as it was. I had one of those dreams, you know the ones. One of them PTSD dreams. My MIL is coming to visit later in…

I’ve Caught The Feels

*Originally published September 5, 2017. Some erroneous rambling has been removed. The thing is, for many years, I built up my walls and buried emotions deep down... I'd remain calm and like a duck out of water, I'd let a whole lot of stuff roll off my back. Eventually my suppressed emotions would bubble over…

An Open Letter to “Wyatt” (updated/new version)

To whom it may concern; The last time we spoke was against my better judgment. Yet in 2012, after not being in contact for 13 or so years, there you were. Your name was on my computer screen and I didn’t know what else to do but say “Hi.” I found out you were seeing…

Now I Know He’s In My Region

Periodically I check his social media. Every few months at most. We aren't friends. But I can glean an idea of where he's at in the world most of the time from his public profile and cover photos. Not always, but often enough. I honestly don't dig much deeper than that. It feels like a…

Must be the Med

Climbing in to bed, exhausted, but knowing I won’t be able to sleep any time soon. So I pop a melatonin or a Benadryl, hell, maybe both against my better judgement. My mind will race and as I drift in and out before finally falling all the way asleep, my dreams will emerge and they’ll…

Spiders Could Be in the Box…

I can see myself walking into a dark, back room, reaching for an old brown file archive box. Dusting it off, gingerly lifting up the lid - afraid of what I might find. Spiders could be in the box. It's been there so long. The thick layer of unbroken dust is a testament to that.…